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So when I was walking back, Brandon (the imaginary friend) comes running along and tells me to feel good about myself and to stop being so down. I swear he's like my life coach or something. It's sweet, still wish he was real. I'd marry him. -gulp- If he ever knew I said that....Anyways, =) I was walking by the small lake in town and listening to Dong Bang Shin Ki singing Hug English Version when something clicked in my head. I don't know what it was but I started feeling really good. The water sprayed up towards me and hit my face. The sun was high in the air. My favourite music was playing in my ear. It was a perfect moment. Then I walked back to my grandparents house, changed clothes and went dancing in the school's yard behind their house. It felt amazing. I was pretending I was somewhere else with friends, being my stupid silly self. I was with people who loved me for who I was, not what they wanted me to be. It might've been fake and yes, it was my imagination but who cares? It's what I needed. People looked at me but I didn't care. I danced and sang till I realized that the laundry was calling my name lol
Stupid couch that I'm sitting on always makes me itchy. Gah, I hate it.
I'll be gone all weekend. Gotta watch the kiddies. Hopefully I can keep my sanity. Bye bye for now.
- Mood:
refreshed
I can admit, I'm a bit snippy to her. Sometimes she drives me batty. And her logic sometimes makes no sense. And this really ticks me off : she can't seem to leave things alone. You know how some women bring things back from the past, even if they say the issue is done? Obviously it's not done with you if you continue to bring it up.
I'm trying, I really am. But I don't expect this family of mine to be the support system I need and want. I look for that elsewhere. I care about them but the way they treat me makes me feel less than I know I am. I begin to question my existence, if I should live or not, if they even care. I shouldn't feel this way coming home. And then they think I'm rude when I say I don't wanna come home.
Sigh.
I don't know anymore. I just need some time......
- Mood:
sad - Music:会えなくても feat. 西野カナ / WISE
I won't be going back there next year. I...well God decided that I should be a student missionary. So I will be off in the beautiful countryside of England, if everything works out. Let's cross our fingers.
First year of university and I think I made a huge mistake. Dating Jon was a mistake that I need to learn from. Our vibe was strong when we were friends, but when we dated we just went downhill. And we can't figure out why. I don't think he expects or wants as much from this relationship as I do. So instead of getting hurt like I did with other previous best friends, I'm just going to let go slowly. Life's too short to hold grudges and feel pain, right? The things I've learned not to do: Even if you think you're ready, try not to date someone you've only known for a month. Make sure you have awesome communication skills. And figure out if yoru values for the friendship/relationship are the same. I did things that I'm not too proud of, things that I can't take back. If we had been going out for most of the year, it wouldn't be as bad. But it was for a month. What the heck? What's a month in my time anyway? Nothing. I'm glad I learned things from that relationship, but still.....I'm kind of regretting it because that friendship will never be the same again.
I just came back from an alumni weekend at my old high school. It's funny how with some people, you can click instantly like nothing ever happened. And others, you have to force the conversation. Sometimes that's how it is with Jon. - sigh- I'm giving myself until the end of the month to get over this.
To get me out of my funk, I've started writing again. Fanfictions, original work, updating my other novels. If anyone's ever interested in reading them, just ask. I'll try and read your posts later on. I just wanted to drop by and say I'm not dead yet.
Peace loves <3
- Location:Favourite couch
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Bolero - Dong Bang Shin Ki / Tohoshinki
Ummm I'm getting counselling every Thursday and I feel so much better about myself because of it. I've always wanted counselling for all the problems I've had in life. I just want to put the past behind me and move on in life, and not let it drag me down. And it's been working. I can talk to strangers, I don't feel worthless, I'm more happy and sure of myself. And I've only had one session. But God has had a lot to do with it. Call me crazy or strange, I don't care. If you've read my entries from when I started, you'd know a lot of the muck I've been in and how sad I used to be. God is the only answer to my struggles. And counselling does help alot.
Soo who wants to know about the boy Daniel? Well him and me were play-fighting, "flirting" on Facebook ^.^ And then at drama practice, I had to say this line "You don't have to be such a jerk about it" and I said it to him. So he gets all up in my face and we're just glaring at each other, and I so wanted to just kiss him, but I stopped myself (thank God!). Then afterwards, we were walking to the dorm with our arms around the other's shoulder. For a minute, he stopped doing it and I didn't think he'd put his arm back BUT HE DID! He walked me to the dorm! -sigh- He's so cute! I can't believe he "might" like me, since I don't know for sure. But it seems like it. I like him too -blush- We were at the Chinese church on Saturday and my roommate Raquel, said he was like guarding the door so I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Then he came and talked to me, and asked me to introduce me to his friends. I was like 0.0 You got major points there buddy. I hope we can go out or just become closer. He's so sweet and nice and cute and friendly, so easy to be around. My friends like him, my mom likes him (despite the 4 year ge difference, 17 and 21), it seems God has put him into my life for a reason....I don't know, I gotta pray more.
Besides that, I still haven't paid for school >.< And I have no where to go fro Thanksgiving. I don't want my first American thanksgiving to suck =( I want something good to happen to me. My grandparents are coming back from Jamaica tomorrow. I go home in like three or four weeks. I'M NOT FAILING BIOLOGY....not yet anyway >.< Life's just good.......thank God.....I've had enough bad. I like where I am in life now. This journal helps alot. When no one's here to talk to, you guys are =) Thanks
- Mood:
peaceful - Music:Let it Roll- Secondhand Serenade
So the most awesomest thing just happened to me. I thank God for all these awesome experiences that He’s giving me. And since I can’t scream and shout with anyone here cause all smart people are sleeping, I’m gonna tell all ya’ll, Mmkay?
Right so, I’m in this drama group called Impressions. Pretty nifty actually, we’re gelling like a family –insert cute aw here- ^.^ So there’s this one guy who’s caught my eye. His name is Daniel, he’s Korean (I love me some Asianness lol), he’s godly, and he’s my height! Last week Friday I told my friend Sendow that I liked him, and since then, we’ve been talking (meaning me and Daniel, but me and Sendow too) like we’re real good friends, maybe flirting, I don’t know.....but yeah, I’m so happy! And what just happened now? Facebook is amazing, I officially heart Facebook. I was on Facebook and he commented one of my pictures. So we’re talking and he says he’ll bring me a cold drink cause I couldn’t sleep cause my room is stifling hot. So he walked over, FROM THE GUYS DORM TO GIVE ME A DRINK! Talk about cute! Awww so kawaii ^.^ teehee and every other happy sound I can make. Except he’s 21 and I’m 17 so yeah, problematic. But I thought that was sweet of him. So I had to tell someone. Oh and who ask Facebook, add me, Akashia Danielle. But say none of this on Facebook cause he’ll know....shush ;)
- Mood:
ecstatic - Music:Hamtaro End Song ^.^
Anywho, I'm jetting off now. Will tell you the details of my day later.
OMGosh, I just remembered that the guy I used to like is gonna be at the party today. Good thing I look cute ^.^
I WANNA LIVE IN TOKYO!
I should go to sleep on time but I can't.
I should continue my education next year but I wanna be a missionary.
I should eat better meals but pizza is just so yummy.
I should wake up at 7 to eat breakfast but I like to sleep in till I have a minute left till class starts.
I should stop worrying about this boy but he's just so cute and asian.
I should freak out about losing my SIN card but I'm just too lazy.
I should take out the garbage but I'm scared of the dark.
I should stop worrying about my major but I really don't want a BS anymore.
I should do the laundry but I hate using up all my quarters.
I should drink more water but sometimes I just don't care about my body.
I should read for my biology test but I have to read history.
I should stop this list now but I'm fully not about to.
I should........................
I should.............
I should do a lot of things
University students should do a lot of things
But we just never do
*me rambling about the things I should do but don't, life as a university student
**does anyone care to add to the list?
PS Who likes my new display picture? I took it when I went home for Thanksgiving just like three weeks ago. Canada is so pretty in October >.< I miss home
I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I just feel so....I don't know, out of it. Like I see all my friends or people I know, and it seems they know SO many more people than I do.
What's up with that?
I'm normally social, I like meeting new people. I'm shy at first but then I get into it and be myself more and meet people. And I keep on looking for big opprotunities to meet people like worships, class, parties; just anywhere. But I neglect doing one thing; going into the cafe and eating with a random stranger. I mean, sometimes I do, or did, but it was always exhausting and like you have to make the effort while the other person sits there. And I'd always get duds, while my friends would be laughing with them instantly after like the first five minutes. It's like how did they do that?
Why can't I do that? I need to be social with people. Like seriously, I am going to become a Psychologist, this skill is needed. I don't know if I'm lazy or what, but now I'll just take the easy way out. Do I come across as standoffish or what? Too good to associate with people? Or is it them? Ahhh, so hard to know. I think I'm nice enough and cool enough and special enough to make friends/meet new people. But......I just feel really discouraged. I just sat on my butt all day, did NO homework and I have an essay due tomorrow >.< BUt my roommate went out with her NEW friends, studied and had fun. Maybe I spend too much time in this dorm room of mine. Or maybe God is drawing people away from me so I can get to learn about him more. Honestly, I'll go to class sometimes and it seems there's no space for me. I don't understand why I feel like this, and what changed inside of me. Or is it external and I'm too blind to see? Whatever it is, reason good or bad, just give me a solution. I'm tired of feeling like a zombie. Get up, go to class, eat, sleep again. No purpose, hardly any fun. What's the point anymore?
Yeahhhhhhh anyone wanna comment on this? Leave me some hope :)
This seems so weird. I haven't posted in what feels like years. I read your entires finally.....can I get a thank you? Yeah you're welcome guys =) Hope you're doing good or hanging in there. It was Thanksgiving back home and I got to visit, yay! I had to take the Greyhound home though >.< That sucked cause it was at night and stuff so yeah......if I do that again, I'm taking someone with me definetly. At least there was a cute guy at the stop in Toronto.
Note: If you guys don't remember, I'm at Andrews University in Michigan taking Psychology (major) and Photography (minor). But I live in Canada. That help? =)
Oh and I bought a cellphone cause my mom would NOT let me travel without one. Yeah bought it last week.....it's still not activated yet >.< I'm starting not to like Tracfone anymore but they have good deals and whatnot. It's the perfect plan or non plan phone ever, for me anyways but ugh! IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Oh well, I have a phone so I'm good. A home phone mind you.
I'm thinking of becoming a student missionary in Japan, South Korea or Thailand. Whatcha think?
Also I straightened my hair (finally) and it`s the straightest it`s ever been. I actually cried lol
I made it into a drama group called Impressions and I love it. Although the guys in it are really distracting. Damn me for liking Asian men.
Oh I have a class at 8:30 tomorrow. Darn should get back to studying. Be safe girls and keep updating even if I don`t. It makes me miss it. And makes me come back. Oh and please comment so I know someone out there still loves me....... =)
Right now I'm listening to No Clouds In The Blue Heavens from the musical that has the same name. It's a Bleach one, sooo good for anyone who loves Bleach and is gonna read this. Look it up on Youtube. That was my summer's obsession. And I wanna sing it out loud but like, there's a girl in my room talking to my roommate about some pretty serious stuff. And that would be rude....right?
Today I was sitting in my Bio class, freaking out about my lab summary. I didn't know how to do it properly, and stupid me, didn't ask the TA (teaching assistant). So I ended up getting a 50%, which in Canada means a pass, but here, in Michigan, means a fail. I was like "........-.-......" Yeah, that wasn't good. I was thinking, "Why the hell am I taking a BS in Psychology when I hate science? Am I in the right major? Maybe my calling is wrong..." I was doubting myself really bad. But then two hours later, I remembered why I chose this major; because I wanna go into a field where I can help the parents of recently diagnoised children with mental disabilities. You don't understand how sad it is. Some parents are so scared, they send their kids off places and don't even know how bad it is for them. I want parents to realize, "Hey, it's okay. This isn't the end of the world." I've been around these types of situations all my life, my brother and sister are mentally disabled, and I am always active in keeping people aware of what they're going through and stuff. So I'm sticking with my major. Even if Bio poses to kill me slowly. At least I'm not failing. I'm ranked number 70 in a class of 123 people. Go me!
Ummm what else has been going on? On the guy front, nothing. Although I've had a pretty interesting (kind of....okay not really) string of guys. I've just been scoping, no in-depth looking. I'll wait for one to suddenly happen, I'm not forcing anything. But there is this one guy named.....okay I'm not saying any specifics. But he's five years older than me, and I'm pretty sure he's taken. Totally sucks.
But good things.....it finally stopped raining, my roommate and I are fine =), I get to go to a concert on Saturday night, maybe the beach in the day, maybe the mall on Sunday, got an assignment and test moved (and we all know we love when that happens XD) And I found a cool online site to change up my pics a bit, FOR FREE! Love you all, gotta finish some homework and go to bed early, before 2 >.<
- Music:17. Kanarazu Mitzuke Dasu~Owaranai Tatakai
Yes it's a horrible thing to do but we all do it so tough. Anywho, I said last week that I was gonna update you all on life here, and I didn't. So even though I have an appointment with one of my professors in like 15 minutes, I'm gonna tell you guys what's up.
Well first off; classes. I only have five, six including the lab for Biology. I have Intro to Psych (my fav class), Foundations of Biology (everyday FOR A YEAR >.< AND I'VE NEVER TAKEN BIO!!!), Fit For Life (meets only once a week, phew), Civilizations and Ideas (the teacher scares me so bad, I swear u gokay classes, not heavily interesting or anything. I just try to pay attention in my classes and not look at the boys, ahem.........I don`t think it`s working. One guy heavily distracted me today cause he smelt good =) But yeah, classes.....psh.....I need to start actually doing my homework. YIKES! I have a quiz tomorrow and I haven`t read since the first day >.<
Umm next; freedom. I LOVE IT! I came from a boarding school already, and pretty much, after 7:30, you can't leave the dorm, unless it's to go to the lab. Your lights are off at 11 or 11:30, depending on your class standing, and they gripe at you for everything. Here............I WAS OUTSIDE TILL LIKE 5 TO ELEVEN!!!!! DOING NOTHING!!!! It was so much fun, just staring up at the sky underneath the water tower, which looks so good contrasted with the dark sky. It was just so awesome, knowing that I had the freedom to do something so ridiculous. I can be on the Internet in my room (YAY), I can go watch TV whenever, hang out at the cafe whenever (okay, till like 11) . And the dress code....I can dress however I want. I’ve worn outfits that are so not KC policy (my old school), it’d make my old teachers and deans shudder. Here? No one cares. And for like our nightly checks, its so lax. I just love it.
Well first off; classes. I only have five, six including the lab for Biology. I have Intro to Psych (my fav class), Foundations of Biology (everyday FOR A YEAR >.< AND I'VE NEVER TAKEN BIO!!!), Fit For Life (meets only once a week, phew), Civilizations and Ideas (the teacher scares me so bad, I swear u gokay classes, not heavily interesting or anything. I just try to pay attention in my classes and not look at the boys, ahem.........I don`t think it`s working. One guy heavily distracted me today cause he smelt good =) But yeah, classes.....psh.....I need to start actually doing my homework. YIKES! I have a quiz tomorrow and I haven`t read since the first day >.<
Umm next; freedom. I LOVE IT! I came from a boarding school already, and pretty much, after 7:30, you can't leave the dorm, unless it's to go to the lab. Your lights are off at 11 or 11:30, depending on your class standing, and they gripe at you for everything. Here............I WAS OUTSIDE TILL LIKE 5 TO ELEVEN!!!!! DOING NOTHING!!!! It was so much fun, just staring up at the sky underneath the water tower, which looks so good contrasted with the dark sky. It was just so awesome, knowing that I had the freedom to do something so ridiculous. I can be on the Internet in my room (YAY), I can go watch TV whenever, hang out at the cafe whenever (okay, till like 11) . And the dress code....I can dress however I want. I’ve worn outfits that are so not KC policy (my old school), it’d make my old teachers and deans shudder. Here? No one cares. And for like our nightly checks, its so lax. I just love it.
BE RIGHT BACK, GOING TO SEE TEACHER, WILL FINISH AFTER, MMKAY?
Funny I’m writing this in cause you guys won’t know there’s a break/pause thing. Lol
And I’m back like a week later lol Yes I’m a huge procrastinator. Anyways I had a huge test to cram for just last night so I’m pooped. I have a lab tomorrow and a meeting about my essay, and maybe a academic advisor meeting. Hopefully I can soon, hopefully by the end of this week, get a more firm schedule on life. Anywho, I love and miss you guys, reading journals and stuff. I will soon!
Keep staying sweet ya'll! XD
The story of my first day here is really....hmm I'll let you figure that out. So on Saturday, after church we left ( meaning me and my mom) to go to Toronto. Since the trip from where we were was 9 hours, we traveled to Toronto to stay at my aunt's and her fiance's so they could come down with us and help her drive. So on my way down, I stopped in Oshawa to say bye to Brian at his girlfriends, then got my yearbook from Ryan. But I couldn't see my girlfriend! WAH! Then we finished driving to Toronto, and slept till 12. Well my mom did, I was talking to my girlfriend cause we couldn't meet up. We left about 1:30 AM, drove to the border and got taken into their building thing. They weren't gonna let me cross the border because I didn't have my I-20 form and my SEVIS done. Without it, I couldn't take classes. So we convinced them to let us go to the school cause they needed to help us so we COULD ACTUALLY FINISH the I-20. We drove down, scrambled to make the $28,000 + that we needed to have so I could get my I-20, drove all the way BACK to the border, processed my papers and drove BACK to school. It was so tiresome. I didn't get to bed till like 2. Then last night, me and my roomie didn't sleep till 3. I better get some sleep tonight, I am dying!
But other than that, things have been fine here. I've had tests, got my classes, packed out the room, met up with my friend Vikki who I call Mommy, talked to her boyfriend in jail (Daddy, I miss him) and got groped in class. It was so funny. I volunteered to wear these glasses that make you see everything upside down, and this other guy was wearing ones that make you see everything opposite. So we were told to go to the opposite ends of the room and try and grab each other's thumbs. So we were trying hard and I feel his hand on my boob 0.0 A couple of guys made some noise, I was really surprised, but hey! It's not like he knew what he was doing, right? So I guess he can keep his reproductive organ....but if it happens again.....he WILL be dealt with XD
Anywho, I can't wait till I meet some new friends (which I have but I still need more) and get settled. But I love this place already so it's all good gravy. Bye bye!
I've packed almost everything I've bought all summer long, and amazingly, it's not that much. All the clothes I bought, they fit just one layer of the four layers of clothes in my suitcase. AHHHH! I failed. And most of them are tanktops that look the exact same. Whatever. My grandpa has to come over and help me pack this stuff away but guess what? IT'S RAINING! I wanna run outside and scream I'M LEAVING! cause the creepy man next door is gone but I think I'll pass. My hair will stink if I do.
Um there was supposed to be a point to this. Hmm.....okay Bleach is the best anime ever! No that wasn't it. Oh yeah, I'm leaving for Andrews, my mom and me haven't fought in a couple of days. And hopefully, I'll be able to keep you posted on university/dorm/my life at Andrews. Drama awaits me, as per usual.
Lately I've been having really bad pains in my chest. Ever since I visited my new school, Andrews, at the end of January, I've had them. I just woke up with bad chest pain between the breasts. I went to the clinic, they couldn't find out what was wrong with me. Eventually they spread into my back and stomach and once even into my butt. It was horrible. The pain felt like there was something boiling in my veins, like they would burst. The pain in my chest felt like someone was sawing away at it. It got so bad that they wouldn't let me travel and I had to go home. I got blood work done, a chest X-ray, all precautions. Then the pain went away. Then came back for a day a couple months later.
Now it's August, I have school ahead of me, planning for an awesome year of being sick free and guess what hits me like a brick wall. Uh-huh, those chest pains. Yep they came back. I think I've had them for about a week or so now. So at church I asked the doctor what was wrong with me. I told him the history, he touched my chest (in the way doctors do of course) and pronounced that I have Costochondritis. Big word, I still have to look it up on Google to get the correct spelling. Just so you know more about it:
Costochondritis is an inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join with the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone or sternum. The condition causes localized chest pain that you can reproduce by pushing on the cartilage in the front of your ribcage. Costochondritis is a relatively harmless condition and usually goes away without treatment. The cause is usually unknown. (www.emedicinehealth.com).
So the good news for me is that it's harmless. Bad news for me is I still have to live with it. And it might last 3-4 years. I was so distraught when I found out. The cause is unknown. There is nothing I can take to make the pain go away. I already have asthma, making it hard for me to breathe, I so don't need this. Thanks to this and all the blood tests, I found out I'm anemic. So I take iron and vitamins I hate, they want me to take Advil to descrease the inflammation. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. It just is. It hurts to laugh, cry, hug, jump, dance, play, anything thaty requires energy. Sometimes standing can be streneous. This isn't how I wanted to start off university. Oh and my university has these games that I wanted to do, so I could get to know my class. With my body and how it feels, that's a big no no. I might not be able to work out and get fit like I wanted to. This thing is throwing a major kink into my life. And I don't know what to do. I just wish I could talk to someone. I feel like giving up. I feel defeated.......someone.....please....say something.......
So I went to visit my dad last week in Mississauga, and he threw me a party. Surprise surprise. I was really surprised. I thought he was just an unconsiderate man who stuck his wiener in my mom, found out his kids were disabled, and tried to distangle himself from our lives. But it seems I was wrong. There was over 30 members of my family there. Too bad I'm not close to any of them. Not even my Dad. So I was there feeling lonely, until one of my cousins came. She's not really my cousin but is considered family. I was her RA at school and so we were close enough to start talking. So I talked to her the whole party long. Then my Dad calls everyone around a cake and starts talking about how he's proud of me, how my family is supporting me and stuff. I as usual, had on my non expression face reserved for those that don't know me well or those I don't intend to get to know at all. My uncle gave me a new camera for photography class. Haven't used it yet. I'm so confused. He seemed like such a loving father and then the rest of the trip, he seemed so.....senseless and absent from my brother and sister. Yet he didn't. I don't know abotu my Dad anymore. I'm not sure I even care. I'm leaving for school in less than three weeks. I'll be hours from him. What does it matter?
Also my pains are back. I got these random pains in my back in January that spread to my back and took over my upper body so much that it was hard to do anything but sleep. Now they're back and they are still killing me. I'm not even sure I can stand up to take a shower. But I will. No shower = me gross and I don't want that.
Like I said, school starts in like 18 days. I'm nervous, excited, stressed, depressed, happy. It's so nerver wracking. I'm gonna be a freshman in university and I'm only 17. Wish me luck!
Right now my mom is giving me talks about clothes to buy when I go off to school. Okay Mom, I'm not really listening to you. Sorry. This movie that I'm watching makes me so mad. Are all people in government and in positions of power such arse holes? This doctor won't let this woman see her own children. Excuse me dude, I'm pretty sure you didn't carry these five children for nine months! So....ugh, okay I'm done ranting about this gay movie.
I just ate scrambled eggs and toast. Yummy -licks lips-
So I'm gonna talk about my Dad and all my findings and stuff...but later on, when I'm not so tired and when my mom's not around. And I'll try to read and comment on entries. Bye bye pd
Well these past few days, weeks, whaever you wanna call them have been rather eventful for me. And at the same time, it feels like nothing is happening. Well let's start with the family.
My mom and I haven't been getting on well since...I really don't know. She works till like 9 or ten almost every night and I'm usually at home on the couch like the little couch potato that I am, watching anime or something. And as soon as she walks in the door, my attitude become overall jerkish. She'll wanna spend time with me and I just want her to go away. I'm more happy when I don't see her. And when I do like hanging out with her, by then I've already pissed her off or she just....I can't explain. Like one day we went out just to shop and stuff. I was driving even though I didn't want to and she kept on telling me what to do and everything. It pissed me off so I just kept shouting at her and stuff. Then I was trying to park in a parking space and was doing a really bad job and there was this guy staring at me, so my mom shouts at him from the car. I at this moment, was really embarrassed and everything and didn't want to talk to anyone, AT ALL! Me and my mom went to a buffet and when she tried to talk to me, I said in a really rude voice that I didn't want to talk to her at that moment. So it was silent, we ate our food and I felt my anger going away. But then she just got up and went to the bathroom. Minutes later, she comes back in with red eyes and hands me the money saying I can pay for myself and that she doesn't need to be my mother.
..........How was I supposed to handle hearing THAT? Come on, was I supposed to cry? No I'm not beating myself up for being an ass and making myself feel like I'm the lowest scum of the earth. Those days are over. No, I just remember my resolve. I'll study my butt off, get a good job and take care of her in her old age and my brother and sister too. So she won't have any worries one day. I think we've gotten along a little better since that day but still....I can't think of a time where I thought my mom was so stupid. I'm not sure if this is bad or not.
I applied for government help for my schooling. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get an on-campus job because I'm international. Oh well, I worked for four years straight AND did school. I'd be nice not to work for a change. And I wonder if I can still go to England for a year. I really want to. Or Japan. That'd be amazing =)
My ex boyfriend Justice was at my church this Saturday. It was creepy. I had to sing and I walk in the church; he's just standing there. AHHHH! And ughhhh! He was the one boyfriend I trule regretted. I don't even wanna spend anytime thinking about him.
So I've been working, making more money and jazz. Applied for my room for university. Hope I get one with a bathroom instead of one where I have to use community showers. Ick!
And I have a tooth coming in. Hurts like heck cause the gum is sticking out so it's hard to eat. The water at my house makes me itchy so showers are painful. I forgot to water the flowers and my mom's become uber depressed about that. Oh and I have to work straight from Friday to Wed. And my dad is gonna take me, my brother and sister starting on Sunday. Hopefully I can get a camera. And find the Count of Monte Cristo. Love that book.
